Predicting the future.

" Kau sedar tak Izz, we never know what kind of sh*t we've being going through actually but without we realizing, we always made it until this far"

        "Aah but aku still wonder betul ke apa yang aku buat ni and what kind of future awaits for me ahead, I'm afraid of it like really afraid thinking of what if the planning change for 360 degrees, kau akan menyesal tak ke kau okay je?"

" Remember Iz, He knows better. Have faith then you'll know which one is brighter"

    A quick series of Q&A sessions but enough to awaken this dead soul. Rising from the below screaming in sorrow haha. Okay....not that funny actually. Well, here is another episode of me writing in the middle of the night to break my own thoughts. It is 3:08 am now with my Spotify on playing Senja di Ambang Pilu by Danilla. What a great combo of music and emotions. My head feels heavy already but as usual insomniac and dealing with overthinking at night, ugh this has no end. 

    Okay back to the conversation before, what I want to emphasize here is actually about making the first step in everything. Have you ever sat silently with your wandered thoughts on how exactly you've been going through things before? Not to mention the messy and wrecked path you have to pass through in order to satisfy and achive you in your life.

Messy?

Yes, messy... because come on there is nothing you can do besides learning from your own failure right? Ah sudahlah... mencari fatamorgana dengan apa yang ada di depan mata itu banyak bezanya haha. Ini apa yang hati aku berbisik sekarang.

" Okay, look Izz... now, all you can do is to act normal and stop being too conservative on yourself. If damage has been done, then the least you can do is to act cool with it because you know it is your fault and nothing can change it. Admitting it is enough la Izz. " 

Okay... I will.. but you know me kan Ruzai, with 100012484646 way of this overthinking brain works in manipulating my brain cell, apa je boleh aku buat selain mencuba hahaha.

This few series of conversation between aku dengan Ruzai yang memang dah rapat since 2016, jatuh bangun tersungkur terduduk sama-sama always bring me back alive but sometimes aku pun wondering apa yang patut aku fikir dengan apa yang dah jadi. Aku takde la buntu cuma kadang kadang we human need affirmations and validations...

Kan?